Our Pregnancy Journey
Movement is scary.
You ask God to move In your life and well
when he does
you feel the earthquake hit you off your feet and ultimately you think...
Well shit why did this happen?!?
Movement offers growth.
So I am here to tell you, this beautiful baby growing inside of me...is a repercussion of an earthquake. And I am thankful to have fallen down!
For a couple weeks, I wanted to shove reality on the back burner. In other words, I didn’t wanna face my day to day. I went through the excitement of telling Aaron I was pregnant. Having butterflies and crying while watching my parents faces when they heard the news.
A week or two following, we had to then share the news of losing it. WHY! Anger overwhelmed me. I was scared and fearful. I got hit by a freaking earthquake.
Finding out that you lost a life that once lived inside of you- is a lot to handle. It’s a mind shift that I pray you will not have to endure. I blamed myself. I blamed really anything. Nothing made sense. Nothing helped. No one could say anything to change my perspective. And somehow in the midst of walking on glass shards dealing with emotional and physical pain, I had to be strong. To go to God in that instant felt hypocritical. But i dropped my walls and did.
He not only met me there while I was broken, but he empowered me. I felt strong. And later on showed me the purpose of enduring that storm. I believe, that alone, was my beginning of being a mother.
Before I even had this lil person. Realizing that everything I think i have control of...is actually out of my control. Whether it’s inside of me or not! It’s definitely a mind shift to give all of your most loved possessions and people to God, but I realize that in his hands they are ALOT more safe and protected! This little life that is now within me is our greatest treasure AND also my hardest journey! Oh man was the first trimester HARD on my body but also my marriage haha poor Aaron was doing all! If you are in a period of waiting on God. I was too. 7 years ago God revealed to me my babies name. (Which I will be telling you guys soon!) And her name cannot be closer to her story.
If you are in a season of loss. If you feel like you are alone or broken. KNOW…YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE IN A PERIOD OF GROWTH. You are being prepared for a beautiful rainbow. I am here to tell you, Gods timing is always perfect.
All in all, I am elated to grow even more as a wife, a mom and a child of God...and ultimately end up a cow. haha thank you for following our journey. The real. The good and the hard are all part of being human!
I would love to hear about your beautiful journey! How has God moved in your life?